| I would rather slide down a mountain of razor blades naked into a pool full of rubbing alcohol than argue with a redheaded woman. |
| I’m learning brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever. |
| You should treat your friends like family, and your family like friends, because that’s how high you step, like a rooster in deep mud with tube socks on. |
More worn out than a three legged grey hound in a rabbit pin
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
