Sometimes the best laid plans are underminded by good intentions and detailed by common sense because instead of planning you should have been doing.
| A buddy of mine just introduced me to his new lady. She’s a moped girl, the kind you want to ride, but don’t want your friends to catch you on. |
| When you can’t see the bright side of life, try polishing the dull side. Your brightest epiphany will come in your darkest hour. |
| There’s a world of difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him, because telling a man to go to hell and making him are two different ventures. |
| When I got married it was to Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was always. |