| When you grow up you realize the real world doesn’t care what you did or who you were in high school anymore. |
| I once had a college essay on what’s courage and got an A when I turned in a blank paper with my name on top. That’s slicker than eel snot. |
| When it comes to the people you love most in life, remember you have to let them leave and you have to let them live but you never have to let them go. |
| If you are busy patching holes, fixing breaks, and doing general maintenance on your live, you are no longer living. Don’t repair rather revive yourself. |
| That awkward moment when you realize when your wife said she was hungry you were not supposed to say “me too, what are you cooking for dinner?” |