| Dealing with women is a lot like eating artichokes, you have to go through so much to get so little. |
| Some days I feel like the redneck Confucius. Nobody really understands me, but I can put a sheet on in the mirror, “hmm wuusaaa”, and feel wise. |
| Live your life in such a way when you entered everyone was smiling, and you were crying. When you exit everyone is crying, and you’re smiling. Put others first. |
| I once had a college essay on what’s courage and got an A when I turned in a blank paper with my name on top. That’s slicker than eel snot. |
When facing life’s problems remember there’s more ways to choke a dog than by just feeding him peanut butter.