| God grant me serenity, patience & Rachel Ray as my wife’s new best friend cause if you can smell what’s cooking at the house, Amy burned dinner again. |
| I believe if a man asks you for your shirt, you should give him your cloak also, but then if he gets cocky knock him back out of both and his shoes. |
| When you hit stone barriers in the roads of life, remember the weak minded view them as obstacles, the strong willed view them as stepping stones. |
| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
They say an eye for an eye leaves both parties blind but I say not if you are wearing sunglasses