| There’s a world of difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him, because telling a man to go to hell and making him are two different ventures. |
If brains were dynamite he couldn’t blow his nose
| Xanax, the miracle drug that was made solely for the purpose of riding shotgun when your fifteen year old daughter is driving. |
| “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 |
| Ever meet someone who proved as soon as they opened their mouth everything they learned came from watching Gilligan’s Island. |