| If you’re gonna swim in the deep waters of life, make sure you’re not skinny dipping with piranhas or you might wind up with the short end of the stick. |
I’ve seen freaks like you before but usually I had to pay admission.
| Only thing to fear is fear itself was not said by a man married to a redhead who would put a rattlesnake in your pocket and then ask for a light. |
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
There are two types of people, chess and checker’s players. Chess players won’t usually play checker’s but checker’s players become chess champions