| Only think slicker than a greased pig turned politician is a harpooned in a banana tree dipped in butter. |
| When you run out of rope you can tie a knot and hold on or you can unravel the rope and extend the very thing you are trying so hard to let go of. |
Your nose is close to your mouth for a reason. Try figuring it out before you walk up, breath smelling like you just chewed a butthole out of a skunk.
If I found Lars Dixon floating in my pool I’d go punish my dog.
| If you always speak the truth you won’t ever have to worry about your memory, and that dog will always hunt. |