The real secret to life is learning how to keep your goats away from the trolls and the trolls away from your bridges.
| I often pondered what the longest sentence in the world could be, then I looked at my wife. I knew immediately what it was, “I do.” |
Bobby is so slick he could talk a stray dog into wanting some fleas
| Moths are just butterfly zombies waiting to recocoon. |
| If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless? If you’re driving the speed of light and turn on the lights, what happens? |