| Tim Tebow can throw a football sixty yards on one knee. Amy Shirley is so strong she can throw Tim Tebow farther than that. |
| The early bird gets the worm but the fat happy worm sleeps late. So today will you be the bird or the worm? |
| Meanness doesn’t just happen overnight, so never corner anything meaner than you, or you’ll end up looking like a dead pig in the sunshine. |
| With my buddy Bubba. Everyone needs a Bubba. He’s gooder than grits, and better than snuff, but not half as dusty. |
| After two hours of arguing with Amy, I have decided there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one of them works. |