| If you can’t see the forest for the trees, then grab a chainsaw and cut them like you’re Freddy Krueger at a barber shop, then build a fire and look again. |
I’m so slick I can burn fire ants with a magnifying glass at night.
I met a guy that is so backwoods that he chapped his lips on the cows udder getting milk and he lost his tongue opening up a can of Copenhagen
| You’d rather French kiss a rattlesnake than mess with Bobby Brantley. |
Sometimes its better to keep your mouth shut and let people thing you are an idiot than to open it and prove them right