| You want to see someone laugh? Tell God or your wife you’re in control. Both will let you know real quick you’re living in a fantasy world. |
If brains were dynamite he couldn’t blow his nose
| Three-hundred sixty-five days in a year, earth going around the sun twenty-four hours in a day. One revolution of the earth, both scientific seven days in a week? Only in Genesis. |
| Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day unless you wanna lure in crap eating dogs. |
Is a pigs rump made of pork?