| You want to see someone laugh? Tell God or your wife you’re in control. Both will let you know real quick you’re living in a fantasy world. |
| Be careful who you step on when you’re on your way up the ladder, because you will see them again on your way back down. We all are in the grind. |
I just saw a lady that had more wrinkles that a elephants ball sack. More rolls than a New York bakery. More chins than a Chinese phone book.
| I once had a college essay on what’s courage and got an A when I turned in a blank paper with my name on top. That’s slicker than eel snot. |
| If you buy detergent because it says it removes blood stains from sheets, shirts, and walls, you have a bigger problem than needing to do laundry. |
