Bobby just told me his house was my house, so I told him to get the heck off my property, however he didn’t find it amusing.
| I was in line today behind a guy that was living proof evolution can go in reverse. If you’re gonna be stupid you’d better be tough. He wasn’t. |
True characters whats left at the end of the day when the noise has stopped, the lights are off and it’s just you in that moment, you’ll find your character
| Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.” |
| That awkward moment when you realize when your wife said she was hungry you were not supposed to say “me too, what are you cooking for dinner?” |