| The pain you feel when someone leaves your life is directly based on how much they were loved when they were in it. |
I’m learning brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever.
| Never wrestle with a pig, because chances are you’re going to lose and the pig is probably going to enjoy it. Pigs and sorry people are a lot alike. |
I’m so slick I can burn fire ants with a magnifying glass at night.
| When I got married it was to Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was always. |