At the Lick for Lickmas 2014
| If you always speak the truth you won’t ever have to worry about your memory, and that dog will always hunt. |
| If olive oil is made of olives and peanut oil is made of peanuts, what is baby oil made of? |
| Life’s lesson #192: You can turn a housewife into a whore, but you can never turn a whore into a housewife. |
| Just remarried my best friend grinning like a possum in a persimmons tree and realized that I married up so far I need an elevator pass. |
Why is it, people who create the most storms in their own life always get mad when it begins to rain