Psyco women are like herpes you can never get rid of them and they are a real pain.
| When Shakespeare said the pen is mightier than the sword that’s only because he hadn’t been stabbed yet. Days later, he retracted that statement. |
| Stop looking at God and crying “God, look how big my problem is”, rather look at your problem, then laugh and say “Problem, look how big my God is”. |
| Two things everyone should be taught, is to never go skinny dipping with snapping turtles, and never lock horns with a man named after a forest animal. |
| If you always speak the truth you won’t ever have to worry about your memory, and that dog will always hunt. |