I’m so slick I can burn fire ants with a magnifying glass at night.
| If you can’t see the forest for the trees, then grab a chainsaw and cut them like you’re Freddy Krueger at a barber shop, then build a fire and look again. |
| You’d rather be super-glued to the underbelly of a moose in rutting season than to call Amy out, because it’s easier to get on that train than to get off. |
| Telling a man to go to hell and making him are two different things, and a lot of times when you try, you find out that dog isn’t going to hunt. |
| You can drink to drown your problems but one day you shall realize that problems have learned how to swim. |