| Dealing with women is a lot like eating artichokes, you have to go through so much to get so little. |
| To the Ones who watch movies alone on Friday night—the ones that eat a meal by themselves– the ones that are avoided on a bus–the ones who sleep alone to wake to emptiness–to the ones who shop with no one to buy for–the ones who truly understand left field–the ones who don’t follow the crowd–today I am thinking of you. |
| Some make memories, some take memories. You can sit around watch and remember, or you can be part of what’s going on and be remembered. |
| Your freedom took a soldiers life. Your life took a savior’s sacrifice. Old glory still waves at the foot of an old rugged cross. |
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |