| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
| Some make memories, some take memories. You can sit around watch and remember, or you can be part of what’s going on and be remembered. |
| Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life, because today becomes tomorrow too quickly, so don’t waste even one. |
I’m just in love with a woman more perfect than perfection, prettier than a speckled pup and hotter tan a fire ants nest in a flash flood
| Three-hundred sixty-five days in a year, earth going around the sun twenty-four hours in a day. One revolution of the earth, both scientific seven days in a week? Only in Genesis. |