| Xanax, the miracle drug that was made solely for the purpose of riding shotgun when your fifteen year old daughter is driving. |
What so you do if you see a endangered animal eating a endangered plant.
| Guys, when you’re scared to death, look to the one that gave life, then look to the one he put by your side. It cost us a rib, a small price to pay. |
| You want to see someone laugh? Tell God or your wife you’re in control. Both will let you know real quick you’re living in a fantasy world. |
| There are two people in a marriage. One’s always right; the other’s always the husband. |