| I would rather slide down a mountain of razor blades naked into a pool full of rubbing alcohol than argue with a redheaded woman. |
| Tears of joy often come from intense battles of mental warfare in which one finally realized that happiness is simplicity personified by love. |
Hey the jerk store just called and said they are running out of you.
Never wrestle with a pig, chances are you are just gonna get dirty and only the pig will like it.
If I was your dad I would have spent the first year of your life trying to hunt down and kill the stork.