| Remember I’m kicking this chicken. I just need you to hold the head cause if I tell you a piss ant can put out a forest fire hand him a straw. |
| Stop looking at God and crying “God, look how big my problem is”, rather look at your problem, then laugh and say “Problem, look how big my God is”. |
| Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.” |
Some folks are as useless as an ashtray on a motorcycle
It’s rained so much the fish are looking for dry land and I think I just saw a bunch of dogs lining up in pairs, might be time to follow them