| Before you speak think, is what you have to say better than the silence that abounds because an unspoken word has never hurt or harmed anyone or thing. |
I think the only reason my mother in law wasn’t with Noah on the ark, is they couldn’t find another monster I mean animal that looked like her.
| Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing. |
Some folks actions make about as much sense to me as doing an oil change on a totally wrecked car.
| Well call me butter because I’m on a roll because I used to be schizophrenic, but now we’re okay and just hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit. |