Haywood County Fair – Waynesville, NC August 29 – 30
| Stop wasting time trying to put the pieces back together. Leave them scattered on the floor and move on. What lies ahead is greater than what lies behind. |
| If a cat lands feet first, and butter toast always falls butter side down, what happens when you glue buttered toast to a cat’s back and toss them off a roof? |
| When Shakespeare said the pen is mightier than the sword that’s only because he hadn’t been stabbed yet. Days later, he retracted that statement. |
| I would rather slide down a mountain of razor blades naked into a pool full of rubbing alcohol than argue with a redheaded woman. |
| The cavemen and dinosaurs once jumped on Lizard Lick Towing demanding their wheel back. |