Celebrity Fans
| Never think you are so rich that you can afford to lose a friend. You should stay latched on to friends like a long nose mosquito at a blood bank. |
When facing life’s problems remember there’s more ways to choke a dog than by just feeding him peanut butter.
| You want to see someone laugh? Tell God or your wife you’re in control. Both will let you know real quick you’re living in a fantasy world. |
| You should treat your friends like family, and your family like friends, because that’s how high you step, like a rooster in deep mud with tube socks on. |
| Some days I feel like the redneck Confucius. Nobody really understands me, but I can put a sheet on in the mirror, “hmm wuusaaa”, and feel wise. |