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| When someone you love hurts you, and you can’t understand why, remember: in pain comes life’s lessons, just speak softly because you can’t undo a said word. |
| Everybody talks a big game. Remember, even a cat will blink when you hit it over the head with a sledgehammer. If you’re going to step up, wear your boots. |
| If you think you’re of some importance try ordering another man’s dog around. You’ll learn quickly that you’re only as important as those that listen to you. |
| That awkward moment when you realize when your wife said she was hungry you were not supposed to say “me too, what are you cooking for dinner?” |
Just met a guy whose family tree not only has no branches, but they must harvest carrots cause it grow underground.