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| When life gives you lemons, don’t fret. Cut them up and squeeze them into your buddies eyes, then you will learn to appreciate their power. |
| Remember I’m kicking this chicken. I just need you to hold the head cause if I tell you a piss ant can put out a forest fire hand him a straw. |
I met a guy that is so backwoods that he chapped his lips on the cows udder getting milk and he lost his tongue opening up a can of Copenhagen
It’s better to be hated for the things you’ve done than be loved for the things you didn’t
If you are going to eat it don’t name it