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You never truly learn to swear until you learn to drive and the more you complain the longer God makes you live
Prayer is the key that unlocks all doors
| Today I made a huge mistake. In doing so I learned that I can’t control other’s lives and decisions, but I can scare the life out of their boyfriends. |
| You’d rather strip naked, dip yourself in honey and throw yourself on fire ants than jump on Amy. |
| The 2nd thing I learned today: No matter how big and tough you are, when a little girl asks you to play with dolls, grabbing a GI Joe doesn’t count, so you give in. |