| Guys, when you’re scared to death, look to the one that gave life, then look to the one he put by your side. It cost us a rib, a small price to pay. |
| You’d rather skinny dip with great whites after bathing in a pool of used razor blades than cross a fiery redhead on her birthday. |
I’m learning brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever.
You never truly learn to swear until you learn to drive and the more you complain the longer God makes you live
If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself would it be considered attempted murder or a hostage stiuation.
