You give some women heaven and earth and they still want a tobacco field in hell
| Don’t be upset when you ask people to be puppets, and then they don’t move unless you pull strings. If you want control, you have to know how to handle it. |
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
| I’ve discovered that Amy Shirley is so bad that she can do a front kick on your telephone and give everyone in your address book a black eye. |
| Being big don’t make you bad any more than being born in an oven makes you a biscuit. |
