30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL
| You know what makes me so mad that I wanna catch a Nolan Ryan fastball with my teeth, people who talk to their kids like their dogs. It makes them the animal. |
| You have two choices in life. To make something of yourself or be a stepping stone that allows someone else to do just that. Be the step or be the staircase. |
| Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.” |
| Life’s lesson #192: You can turn a housewife into a whore, but you can never turn a whore into a housewife. |
| Two things everyone should be taught, is to never go skinny dipping with snapping turtles, and never lock horns with a man named after a forest animal. |