30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL

 

Big Lizard Wisdom

I tried yoga for the first time today. Besides feeling hog tied and pigeon toed, I have decided that stress in comparison is a lot less boring.

Favorite Verses

I’ve discovered that Amy Shirley is so bad that she can do a front kick on your telephone and give everyone in your address book a black eye.

Dirt Word

I was in line today behind a guy that was living proof evolution can go in reverse.  If you’re gonna be stupid you’d better be tough.  He wasn’t.

Ronism

We traded cigarette billboards on interstates for topless bar ads. Guess those folks figure there’s no difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him.

Ronosophy

If you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink, he probably ain’t thirsty.  So don’t force yourself on others rather be the trough and wait.