30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL
| You want to know how a country family is doing? Look at their barns, not their houses. |
| There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. And neither of them works. |
| A rose withers, a mountain crumbles, a tree dies, a river dries up, everything ceases eventually. Life stops but not because of you, rather for you. |
| Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Call them steps outside and stairs inside? Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? |
| I’ll smack you so hard your tongue will wrap around your eye tooth and you won’t be able to see what you’re gonna say next. |