| Never think you are so rich that you can afford to lose a friend. You should stay latched on to friends like a long nose mosquito at a blood bank. |
Faith only becomes real when you look down and it’s all that you are holding on to.
| Only think slicker than a greased pig turned politician is a harpooned in a banana tree dipped in butter. |
| Meanness doesn’t just happen overnight, so never corner anything meaner than you, or you’ll end up looking like a dead pig in the sunshine. |
| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |