| When I got married it was to Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was always. |
| You’d rather skinny dip with great whites after bathing in a pool of used razor blades than cross a fiery redhead on her birthday. |
More worn out than a three legged grey hound in a rabbit pin
| I wonder if PETA considers scrambled eggs chicken abuse or do they think it’s possible to harass a mosquito. |
God made dirt and dirt doesn’t hurt. We all get dirty in life but the dirt washes off