| I learned something today. Every path has some puddles; some are just wider and deeper than others, so pull your pants up and wade through. |
Expecting life to reward you because you try hard is like expecting a bull not to charge at you cause you don’t eat steaks.
| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
| When you think life is too rough, imagine riding a bull in the buff with a sandpaper saddle then you will rethink what rough really is. |
| If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless? If you’re driving the speed of light and turn on the lights, what happens? |