I’m so slick I can burn fire ants with a magnifying glass at night.
The real secret to life is learning how to keep your goats away from the trolls and the trolls away from your bridges.
| Only think slicker than a greased pig turned politician is a harpooned in a banana tree dipped in butter. |
| On the way to a wake, thinking that love isn’t love until you give it away, but if you wait too long it’s like being a blind man at a silent movie. |
Remember when you feel like you can’t handle the pressure of like anymore that diamonds are made from just such pressure