| Been watching Hatfields & Mccoy’s awesome show. It’s just a shame that feud started over a de-friending on Facebook and some derogatory tweets. |
| On the way to a wake, thinking that love isn’t love until you give it away, but if you wait too long it’s like being a blind man at a silent movie. |
In life, the hardness of the butter is always proportional to the softness of the bread.
Your nose is close to your mouth for a reason. Try figuring it out before you walk up, breath smelling like you just chewed a butthole out of a skunk.
A surefire way not to be able to enjoy the roses is to continue to water and feed your weeds