| Some people should be dipped in a tub of used hypodermic needles then tossed in a pool of baby sharks. You can’t fix ignorance. |
| Whoever said money can’t buy happiness was dead broke. It can’t buy salvation but can make misery a popular island in a sea of insanity. |
| God grant me serenity, patience & Rachel Ray as my wife’s new best friend cause if you can smell what’s cooking at the house, Amy burned dinner again. |
| Last thing I learned today is just because you’re feeling all roistered up, not everyone is going to appreciate your “cocka doodle do”. |
| We traded cigarette billboards on interstates for topless bar ads. Guess those folks figure there’s no difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him. |