| If a cat lands feet first, and butter toast always falls butter side down, what happens when you glue buttered toast to a cat’s back and toss them off a roof? |
| There is a great difference in being successful and being famous. Tom Cruise is famous, Mother Theresa was successful. Which would you rather be? |
| You should try picking people up not putting them down, or the only place you’ll find sympathy is between “symbol” and “syphilis” in the dictionary. |
Sometimes its better to keep your mouth shut and let people thing you are an idiot than to open it and prove them right
| I wonder if PETA considers scrambled eggs chicken abuse or do they think it’s possible to harass a mosquito. |