I met a guy that is so backwoods that he chapped his lips on the cows udder getting milk and he lost his tongue opening up a can of Copenhagen
| After two hours of arguing with Amy, I have decided there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one of them works. |
| Call me Butter, cause I’m on a roll. |
| You’d rather skinny dip with great whites after bathing in a pool of used razor blades than cross a fiery redhead on her birthday. |
A bad day doesn’t mean you have a bad life, no more than being born in a oven means your a biscuit.