| Lesson for the day: kids only want to be loved, held, appreciated, and wanted. So if you don’t have time for your child, make it, or one day they won’t have time for you. |
| Sometime you only get one shot at something so use a hand grenade because it has a much better blast radius. |
| There’s a difference in watching a kid grow and raising a kid. If you don’t know the difference, you shouldn’t have kids. |
| You should try picking people up not putting them down, or the only place you’ll find sympathy is between “symbol” and “syphilis” in the dictionary. |
| I wonder if PETA considers scrambled eggs chicken abuse or do they think it’s possible to harass a mosquito. |