| A lazy person will never buy an item with a handle, because that could mean work for them, and lazy folks are as useful as chicken crap on a doorknob. |
| I felt all day like I was smothered by the absence of sophistication while drowning in the abundance of ignorance using an inflatable dartboard. |
| Telling a man to go to hell and making him are two different things, and a lot of times when you try, you find out that dog isn’t going to hunt. |
| On the way to a wake, thinking that love isn’t love until you give it away, but if you wait too long it’s like being a blind man at a silent movie. |
| “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12 |