| Telling a man to go to hell and making him are two different things, and a lot of times when you try, you find out that dog isn’t going to hunt. |
In order for a butterfly to be born a caterpillar must die
| To the Ones who watch movies alone on Friday night—the ones that eat a meal by themselves– the ones that are avoided on a bus–the ones who sleep alone to wake to emptiness–to the ones who shop with no one to buy for–the ones who truly understand left field–the ones who don’t follow the crowd–today I am thinking of you. |
I’m just in love with a woman more perfect than perfection, prettier than a speckled pup and hotter tan a fire ants nest in a flash flood
| Only think slicker than a greased pig turned politician is a harpooned in a banana tree dipped in butter. |