| It’s always darkest before the dawn so if you’re gonna steal your neighbors paper, that’s the time to do it. |
| Why grab the bull and get the horns when you can shoot the bull and get the steaks. Leaves you as confused as Mike Tyson at a spelling bee, doesn’t it? |
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
| When you see one roach, there’s always fifty more you can’t see. So keep the lights on when dealing with those lower than snake snot, it tends to blind them. |
Only a real friends can distinguish between a real, I’m doing alright and a fake one. Only a real friend can tell there is hurt in your smile