| You want to see someone laugh? Tell God or your wife you’re in control. Both will let you know real quick you’re living in a fantasy world. |
Why doesn’t glue ever stick to the inside of the bottle?
| Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing. |
| Be careful never to corner anything meaner than you. |
| At the Lick we never play hide and seek. We play hide and pray Big Juicy don’t find you. |