| Guys, when you’re scared to death, look to the one that gave life, then look to the one he put by your side. It cost us a rib, a small price to pay. |
| There is a great difference in being successful and being famous. Tom Cruise is famous, Mother Theresa was successful. Which would you rather be? |
| The only difference in a rut and a grave is the depth. So if you find yourself in a desperate situation hang in there like a hair in a biscuit to find the exit. |
| A buddy of mine just introduced me to his new lady. She’s a moped girl, the kind you want to ride, but don’t want your friends to catch you on. |
| You’d rather be super glued to a bar of soap on the shower floor of a men’s prison than to cross Amy. She’s tougher than a 3 dollar pig steak. |