If someone can’t hear joy in your silence they will never be able to comprehend the truth in the words you use
I just saw a lady that had more wrinkles that a elephants ball sack. More rolls than a New York bakery. More chins than a Chinese phone book.
You give some women heaven and earth and they still want a tobacco field in hell
| When life gives you lemons, don’t fret. Cut them up and squeeze them into your buddies eyes, then you will learn to appreciate their power. |
| You’d rather skinny dip with great whites after bathing in a pool of used razor blades than cross a fiery redhead on her birthday. |