I met a guy that is so backwoods that he chapped his lips on the cows udder getting milk and he lost his tongue opening up a can of Copenhagen
| If you buy detergent because it says it removes blood stains from sheets, shirts, and walls, you have a bigger problem than needing to do laundry. |
| Been watching Hatfields & Mccoy’s awesome show. It’s just a shame that feud started over a de-friending on Facebook and some derogatory tweets. |
If your dog doesn’t like you, chances are you wife/girlfriend won’t either
| Live your life in such a way when you entered everyone was smiling, and you were crying. When you exit everyone is crying, and you’re smiling. Put others first. |