| You’d rather French kiss a rattlesnake than mess with Bobby Brantley. |
| When Shakespeare said the pen is mightier than the sword that’s only because he hadn’t been stabbed yet. Days later, he retracted that statement. |
Wanna hear God laugh tell him your plans. Wanna see God laugh go ahead and try to accomplish them without him
| God grant me serenity, patience & Rachel Ray as my wife’s new best friend cause if you can smell what’s cooking at the house, Amy burned dinner again. |
| If you’re going to herd cattle through town, do it on a Sunday. There’s less traffic and fewer folks to fight, and the cows seem to not mind the bull as much. |