| The maximum effective range of an excuse is 0.0 inches. Remember the only difference in a rut and a grave is the depth, so don’t dig your own. |
| I’d rather you hate me for who I am than to love me for who I am not. I don’t want to be slicker than a greased pig turned politician, I want to be honest. |
I’m so slick I can burn fire ants with a magnifying glass at night.
| Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.” |
| We’re so resourceful at Lizard Lick that we can start a fire by rubbing ice cubes together. |