| If you can’t see the forest for the trees, then grab a chainsaw and cut them like you’re Freddy Krueger at a barber shop, then build a fire and look again. |
| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
They say an eye for an eye leaves both parties blind but I say not if you are wearing sunglasses
| If you think nobody cares trying missing a car payment. |
Why doesn’t glue ever stick to the inside of the bottle?