The real secret to life is learning how to keep your goats away from the trolls and the trolls away from your bridges.
If your dog doesn’t like you, chances are you wife/girlfriend won’t either
It’s obvious some folks didn’t have a lifeguard in their gene pool or any chlorine for that matter.
If I was your dad I would have spent the first year of your life trying to hunt down and kill the stork.
| You’d rather be super-glued to the underbelly of a moose in rutting season than to call Amy out, because it’s easier to get on that train than to get off. |