| I asked a man at lunch sitting by himself how he was doing, He said: “I just buried my kid, and he loved this place”. Tell me again, what’s your problem? |
| My son just told me if I stand in a mirror and put my lips together slowly I could see myself shutting up. I know he’s been around Amy too long. |
| God grant me serenity, patience & Rachel Ray as my wife’s new best friend cause if you can smell what’s cooking at the house, Amy burned dinner again. |
| Just remember when jumping on something, it’s always a whole lot easier getting on than it is getting off of it. Some things are best left alone. |
| I wonder if PETA considers scrambled eggs chicken abuse or do they think it’s possible to harass a mosquito. |