| When I got married it was to Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was always. |
Common sense is like a hot shower, the people who need it the most use it the least.
| If a cat lands feet first, and butter toast always falls butter side down, what happens when you glue buttered toast to a cat’s back and toss them off a roof? |
If I had a gun with two bullets and was in a room with a cobra, a lion, and Lars Dixon I would shoot Lars Dixon twice.
God’s got your back, even when the world is chewing at it!