| Been watching Hatfields & Mccoy’s awesome show. It’s just a shame that feud started over a de-friending on Facebook and some derogatory tweets. |
| God grant me serenity, patience & Rachel Ray as my wife’s new best friend cause if you can smell what’s cooking at the house, Amy burned dinner again. |
100 % of all divorces start with marriage
| After two hours of arguing with Amy, I have decided there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one of them works. |
| That moment when you realize the guy in line behind you’s momma should have dropped him on his head at birth and sold the milk. |