| Remember I’m kicking this chicken. I just need you to hold the head cause if I tell you a piss ant can put out a forest fire hand him a straw. |
You never truly learn to swear until you learn to drive and the more you complain the longer God makes you live
| There is a great difference in being successful and being famous. Tom Cruise is famous, Mother Theresa was successful. Which would you rather be? |
| I once had a college essay on what’s courage and got an A when I turned in a blank paper with my name on top. That’s slicker than eel snot. |
I tried reading 50 Shade of Grey to see how to treat women but it was just too black and white.