| If you want a friend, be a friend. You want a soul mate, be honest and faithful. You want someone to fight for you, stand in front of them and take their blows. |
Everything my brother learned in life I decided he learned from Gilligan’s Island
| The maximum effective range of an excuse is 0.0 inches. Remember the only difference in a rut and a grave is the depth, so don’t dig your own. |
| Got to be smarter than the equipment you’re operating at some point. |
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |