Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future
I think the only reason my mother in law wasn’t with Noah on the ark, is they couldn’t find another monster I mean animal that looked like her.
| You’d rather slide down a mountain of razor blades naked into a pool of rubbing alcohol that mess with my Amy. |
| It’s darkest before the dawn so if you’re going to roll your neighbor’s house that’s the time to do it. |
| Forgiveness is the first step to happiness. If you live your life thinking you have to enforce an eye for an eye the only thing you’ll find is blindness. |